Monday, November 15, 2004

Gimme that Old-Time Religion

One of the scare tactics used against JFK during the 1960 campaign was that, as a Catholic, he would have amongst his weaponry an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope that would supersede his loyalty to his country. Protestants in the American Heartland were fed tales in which JFK was painted as Guy Fawkes with a great haircut and a Harvard diploma. Lucky for us, the zombie vote in Chicago kept that narrative from working. But just barely. (Thanks Mayor Daley!)

There's been a lot of talk since November 3 arguing that Democrats need to appeal more to the evangelical Christian voter. Nah. Instead, we should use a version of their own circa-1960 medicine to attack their one-track views. The argument is easy to make: just substitute words such as "anti-choice" and "homophobia" for "pope" in the previous example. It sounds a little like this:
The Christian Right is so fanatically devoted to the issues of anti-choice and "marriage protection" that they have allowed the Republicans to rape and pillage the public treasury, dismantle the social-service infrastructure (which is based on all that "love the poor" twaddle that Jesus was always going on about), tell lie after lie after lie, and take us to war on false premises. And that's just the short list of their crimes. Anti-choice Christians are so bent on getting their way that they are willing to hurt the country to achieve their narrow goals. You see, people, these things are ANTI-American.

It's the old God-is-blind-Ray-Charles-is-blind-Ray-Charles-is-God jujitsu, only this one is true!

Let's put the Dobsons, Falwells, and Robertsons on the defensive for awhile. I want to see how they defend these reality-based nightmares to their congregations when the facts and numbers have been served on a platter to the public. It will be like watching the Reverend Bob Tilton explain on national TV why he needed a 50-foot yacht. ("My doctor said that I couldn't play golf, that the stress of chasing that little white ball would kill me!")

We'll need the media's help, of course, and the only way to accomplish this is for us to do all the work for them. We need to start packaging the news ourselves. We can't count on the idiots in charge of newspapers, TV, and radio to do anything right. They've grown too fat and lazy.

But we've gotta stop treating the Christian Right with kid gloves. Sure, when we attack, we'll be called athiests. So what? They call us worse now.


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