Equal Time

It's come to the attention of Boring Diatribe that Newtonian Physics is Just A Theory. We'd like to advance our own theory concerning the revolution of the Earth, and we'd like you to consider bringing our theory forward to your local school board and textbook suppliers, especially if you live in California or Texas.

It is our opinion that the Earth rotates due to the agency of a vast, tireless hamster, called Leviathan, which runs on the inner surface of the hollow planet. Like relativity and evolution, the Leviathan Theory of Motion is, itself, Just A Theory, and therefore on equal footing with all those other False Doctrines which so plague the minds of our schoolchildren.